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The hen house that I visited each evening to "harvest" the eggs

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walking around the back of the Chateau, where the wine is made

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Walking around Chateau Brandeau.....where lunch is often served

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One aspect of this transition that I am committed to is being open to and looking for ways to place myself outside of my comfort zone.  I have not always been open to doing so….in fact, I have been rather fortunate that I have been able to mostly have choices that allowed me to stay well within my comfort zone.

Well, if I ever needed proof on how important it is to embrace the uncomfortable and find ways to challenge oneself to do things that create anxiety, I only have the last few days to recall.  The first opportunity was the wine dinner I described below.  I was anxious about it before we signed up, and continued to feel uncomfortable about attending right up until we got on the bus and had no way out.  And, then, as you may have read from below….the evening was one I will never forget.  Just to consider the possibility of not having met these wonderful people because of my own anxieties, that are what, shall I say manufactured, is troubling.

The second time this week that I almost let my desire to stay within my comfort zone derail a fun experience, was when I went to visit the Chateau I worked at during the Autumn of 1992.  After departing the University of Colorado,Boulder (ahh, well, it is still up for debate if I was departing fired with enthusiasm, or if I was just fired with enthusiasm…..with apologies to President Kerr, the former President of the University of California System, that was the first to make a similar comment).

Back to the story at hand…..for whatever reason, I was anxious about returning to Chateau Brandeau and saying hello to Andrea and Fearn, the owners of the Chateau after all these years.  I had emailed them and indicated the dates of our visit to the area and learned that they would be around.  On the appointed day, I was a short second away of from just driving by and not stopping…and yet, can not for the life of me figure out why.  But we did stop…..and walked around.  The Chateau looked much like it was when I was there….many small improvements, but basically, to my appreciation, it was much the same.  As the French might say, “why change it?  Is it broken?”  I did notice that they are replacing the vines in the vineyard just in front of the Chateau, and possibly adding hectors of new vineyards in the back.

As we took pictures and walked around I shared with Ligia some of the experience I had there….my job of gathering the eggs each evening from the chicken coop for example.  I never really lost my anxious feelings but was so glad I stopped by.  As it turned out, Andrea was at school teaching and Fearn was in the vineyard across the road levaging the vines, watching out for us…but we slipped in without him spotting us.

The short time I spent walking around, remembering the vandage of 1992, the crisp Autumn mornings, the fertilizing of the vines with three-year old sheepsh*#, it was great to be there.

Fearn and I have emailed….shared our mutual disappointment of not having been able to visit….but I have committed to returning, and not letting 19 years pass before I do so…even if I am the least bit uncomfortable.

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The day started at The Tasting in Bordeaux, an event of the Le Week-end Des Grands Crus

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When we decided to travel in France for the month of May, we realized we would be able to arrange our trip to be in Bordeaux during Le Week-end des Grands Crus.  This is an annual event put on by the Union des Grands Crus de Bordeaux, a non-profit association comprised of all the Grands Crus vineyards in Bordeaux.  This is the sixth edition of this event, and is composed of TheTasting in Bordeaux at Hangar 14 on the Quai des Chartrons.  Can you imagine tasting any (every was not an option either due to time or my inability to spit out the many great tasting wines that afternoon) Grands Crus from Bordeaux and meeting either the owner or manager from the Estate?  The event was excellent and absolutely the best wine tasting I have ever attended.

After a quick walk back to our apartment and time to refresh, we prepared for the next event, a dinner at one of the participating wine properties.  I was hesitant to sign up for this event, with neither of us being able to speak French.  I was not concerned being unable to understand the presentations about each wine that would be served with each course, but I was feeling a little annoyed with myself about not knowing the language, and possibly making our dinner companions feel either uncomfortable or annoyed with us for being there and not being able to participate in the table discussions.

Knowing my concerns I called the Union from the USA prior to registering.  I was assisted by a delightful woman, whom I came to learn was Eun Lemercier, a South Korean by birth, but adopted and raised in Bordeaux….well, that’s another story.  Suffice it to say that she allayed my concerns and we registered for one of the dinners.

Then, as the evening event drew near, we both were tired and I was gathering all my anxiety in one basket which became a rather heavy weight.  I was ready to let a nap interfere with going to the dinner, and asked Ligia if she really wanted to attend.  She held no such anxiety about the evening and indicated that she was ready to go.  So we went….and we are so so happy we did.

We caught the bus in Bordeaux that was provided for the dinner attendees, and traveled to Saint-Emilion and the Chateau Larcis Ducasse, a Grands Crus Classe.  Well, at first it felt awkward.  It seemed as if we were the only people there that did not either speak or understand French.  Our hosts were very gracious though and during a pre-dinner reception we met Jacques-Olivier Gratiot, the winery owner and his daughter.  As the reception continued on the front lawn of the Chateau, we were then introduced to Sylvie Cazes, a manager of three wine properties, but also the current President of the Union Des Grands Crus De Bordeaux.

At this time, we thought our evening was a smashing success, that our brief conversations with these delightful people were warm and comfortable, and were prepared to have dinner with some of the other guests, hoping our language short comings were not intrusive on their evening.  We followed the others up into a room above the Cave where dinner was to be served.  We all soon realized that there were name cards and we each had an assigned seat….and we shortly thereafter found our assigned table and seats.  Then we further realized that we were seated at the table hosted by Jacques-Olivier and Sylvie was there as well.  What then transpired were three plus hours of delightful conversation and heavenly food and wine.

From Jacques-Olivier, to his daughter, to Sylvie, to each of the representatives of the various wines we tasted, they made their comments in French, and then repeated them in English.  We were never more appreciative of any kindness extended to us before….the graciousness of each person, and their often apologetic tone for not knowing English better was amazing.  Moments like these are cherished, and remembered for a lifetime.

Ah, the food and wine….four courses of the most flavorful and fresh tasting food….so hard to explain in my limited american food vocabulary…but crab salad with safran and citronmelle, lamb that melted in your mouth, followed by the traditional cheese course with mesclun, and the dessert course presented a Souffle Passion and Sorbet.

Ahhh, but the wine!  Each course was served with either one or two wines.  At first, upon arrival and as we were being seated, we tasted a white wine, a Chateau Carbonnieux 2008, a Pessac-Leognan Cru Classe de Graves.  With our first course or Entree, we were treated to our hosts’ own Chateau Larcis Ducasse 2000, a Saint-Emilion Grand Cru Classe and a Margaux Cru Classe from Chateau Dauzac 2006.  Then, with our Plat, we were served a Saint-Estephe from Chateau De Pez 2003 and another wine from Chateau Carbonnieux, this time a 2001 red.

While throughly enjoying ourselves and these wines, our host, Jacques-Olivier stepped away from our table for a few moments, followed by a waiter, who subsequently opened another bottle of wine that I was able to notice was from his own cellar.  Then, as I watched the appreciative look on Sylvie’s face, a knew we must be in for a special treat…and were we…..Jacques-Olivier had decided to share a special and rare bottle for the Chateau’s cellar….we were all poured a glass of the 1959 vintage from Chateau Larcis Ducasse, a wine that was superb, delicate and oh so smooth.   The wine served with dessert was a 2002 Chateau La Tour Blanche, a Sauternes Premier Cru Classe that complemented the final plate of the evening wonderfully……..but the mind, and the mouth returned to 1959 more than a few times the rest of the evening.

As we prepared for the bus ride back to Bordeaux, we said Bonsoir and Merci Beaucoup to our host, he gave each of us a bottle of his 1988 vintage as a present.  The ride back and the walk to our apartment took 90 minutes, but felt like 9.

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Our day ended with a delightful dinner at Chateau Larcis Ducasse

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I just realized that I forgot to mention something important to all my friends and colleagues as we were talking/emailing about transitioning into this next phase of life. That I am going to need their help and assistance. Though quite difficult for me to show or share any sense of weakness or ignorance about a subject or direction in life, I am painfully aware that I won’t find the new path without help or more aptly, without advice and counsel from all of you.

In fact, I had my first example of this just the other day. Juliana (#1 daughter) called and told me about a faculty member at Thunderbird (School of International Management) that was participating on a review panel for her business plan presentation and that he has a company that has inversted in iPhone/iPad apps, etc. and would I like to meet him when I come to Glendale for the graduation later this month? My initial reaction was to say no, no need, let’s stay focused on why I will be there, your graduation. Then it hit me, that these are the types of introductions and meetings that will allow me to learn and understand more about what I may want to do next. I need to be open to these types of encounters. So, I said an excited “yes!”. Who knows where the help is going to come from? But I do know I will need it.

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This is my second search for what is next. There is something different this time that is most reassuring.....my wife, Ligia.

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According to William Bridges, I am officially in the Neutral Zone.  I first read Bridges’ book, Transitions, in 1992 after departing from CU Boulder.  What an eye opener.  I recommend it highly.  I have refered to it and applied its concepts numerous times over the last 20 years….each time benefiting from his insights.

Though I still may have some loose ends to attend to on my departure from CIR or my “ending” there, I am now in what he calls the Neutral Zone, a place of discomfort at times, of disorientation….or general discombobulation.  And I feel it.  Today I am content with just letting that feeling wash over me, bathe me in a coat of emptiness while I wait to learn what is next.  I am comfortable being in this place…in fact, I have been looking forward to it.  I now know this is an important and essential step in this process.  Let the confusion, experimentation, and wonder begin!

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